"Please repeat again: how big is your library anyway?" asks a woman with a passionate expression to a man dressed elegantly in a rather popular meme about sapiosexuality. But do you know what this term means and what characterizes people who are sapiosexual?

To remove your doubt and make you understand once and for all what sapiosexuality is, we have prepared a complete article on the subject to explore every detail regarding this topic.

Sex, gender, sexual orientation...

Those who are more attuned to the LGBTQIA+ universe even see it as obvious to distinguish the concepts of this subtitle, but the truth is that those who do not closely follow the discussions and constant progress regarding this theme may be a little lost in relation to its concepts, so it is important to do some basic context.

• Sex: defined by the person's genital organs, that is, it is male if it has a penis and the male reproductive system, or female if it has a vagina and the female reproductive system;
• Gender: defined by the way a person sees himself in the world, regardless of his sex. Someone can be biologically male (sex), but see himself as female (gender), whatever the physical, emotional, social, psychological or sentimental reasons that make him identify with the female gender;
• Sexual orientation: defined by the type of person someone is attracted to. If they are attracted to people of the same sex, they are homosexual; to people of the opposite sex, heterosexual; to people of both sexes, bisexual; to no person, asexual.

And where does sapiosexuality come in?

It is undeniable that nowadays, if we compare to the last century of history, we live in times where there is more openness and space to discuss sexuality and its countless diversities. While some defend that only heterosexual, homosexual, asexual and bisexual are possible sexual orientations, there are people who include details regarding sexual orientation, such as the type of person for whom they areattract, if they have a pattern.

Katie Salerno / Pexels

And that is where sapiosexuals come in.

What is sapiosexuality?

Sapiosexuals are people who consider intelligence to be the most important sexual trait when it comes to being attracted to someone.consider them intelligent.

In a way, therefore, we can say that sapiosexuality is a type of sexual orientation that can be combined with other orientations, for example: a person can be heterosexual and sapiosexual, that is, he or she relates to people of the opposite sex, as long as they have a preponderant intelligence that attracts.

How did this term come about?

The origin of the word sapiosexual or the adjective sapiosexual is controversial. They have long circulated among people, especially in the United States, but an "official" milestone for their use came in 2014, when the dating app/site OkCupid added "sapiosexual" as a possible sexual orientation type to its platform, as well as inserting other types of sexual orientationless restricted to homo/heto/bi etc.

RODNAE Productions

Since the introduction of this time on the OkCupid platform, we can say that it has become popular - or, as they say in modern parlance, mainstream. "It's an interesting way for our users - those who are more intellectual - to research and introduce themselves to the rest of the site," explained Bernadette Libonate, spokesperson for OkCupid.

From this popularization of the word, it gained importance to the point of being discussed in psychology and other human sciences. In the same year that it was added to OkCupid, a blog post on the traditional Merriam-Webster dictionary blog discussed adding the word to its pages, which happened only in September 2020.

Sapiosexuality today

Some people say that being sapiosexual has become a "fad", given the popularization of this term in the digital media, but the truth is that this indicates something very good: people are having more knowledge and more flexibility to explore the full potential of their sexuality.

On Tumblr, Facebook and Instagram there are hundreds of pages dedicated to discussing this subject with texts, images and videos: "It's beautiful when you meet someone who takes off their conscience and makes love with their thoughts", says a very popular post on these networks. Another shows a couple having sex whileYes, there is a lot of romanticization and fetishization of the term, but the truth is that content like this is more metaphorical than literal.

Is Sapiosexuality new?

Although the term has become popular nowadays, this concept is not exactly new in the world of human relationships. According to Lora Adair, professor of evolutionary psychology at Lyon College, in the United States, men and women desiring intelligence in stable relationships is not something new.

"When it comes to identifying traits that are as 'necessary' for us when looking for long-term mates, men and women of different sexual orientations tend to place intelligence and kindness above other sexually attractive attributes, such as physical attractiveness," she explains.

You may also like

• Asexuality: do you know exactly what it is?
• Why are we attracted to the wrong people?
• Reflect on the gender difference in society
• Understanding transsexuality is necessary to end prejudice!
• Can sexual orientation change throughout life?

In addition, she highlights another phenomenon as a catalyst for the popularization of sapiosexuality: the change in the general culture. If before books, movies, series, comics and other types of artistic content were seen as marginalized and the people who consumed them were seen as "different", today it is all very fashionable. Who doesn't know Harry Potter? Who doesn't watchthe series of the moment on Netflix?

According to the professor, the truth is that intelligence, in the sense of literature, philosophy and other such content, is being consumed more, which makes it more accepted and that people look for peers who have similar tastes.

But what is intelligence?

Another important question - and one that should be central to the debate about sapiosexuality: what is intelligence? For someone who studies physics and enjoys discussing this subject, it may be impossible to relate to someone who does not understand the basic concepts of this discipline, while a music lover may not consider intelligent someone who cannot name 10 Beatles songs.

The concept of intelligence is broad and quite subjective, so it is impossible to reduce this discussion to defining, in a generalized way, who is or is not intelligent. Each sapiosexual is sapiosexual in his own way, therefore. More examples: a sapiosexual may say that he is attracted to someone who is a nerd and has seen all the Marvel movies. Another sapiosexual, on the other hand, may say that he is only attracted tois attracted to those who watch non-American or cult movies, because blockbuster productions are "not really art".

Okay, what if I am sapiosexual?

Sexual orientation is not a label. You have probably seen at least one case of a person who has considered themselves heterosexual for most of their life, but at some point identified as homosexual. This happens and it is normal. Over the course of life and because of the experiences we have, the characteristics that attract us change as we change too, so sexual orientation is fluid.

Yan Krukov / Pexels

If you realize that the definition of sapiosexual fits the way you are attracted to other people, you may (or may not) define yourself that way. No one is going to make you do it, and it probably won't change anything about who you are.

Always thinking about what attracts us and the kind of person we want by our side is essential in the journey of self-knowledge, so that we get to know ourselves more and more and seek to find more and more satisfaction, happiness, and contentment in our lives.

So, what do you think about the concept of sapiosexuality? Does it fit your personality and the way you are attracted to the people you are interested in and relate to? Share with us your thoughts and experience about it!