"What we do not face within ourselves we will find as destiny," wrote psychologist and psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung, the originator of Analytical Psychology. In other words, everything we run away from or do not decide about ourselves and our life will eventually cross our path - or even define that path! - and appear to be destiny. That is why it is necessary to be aware of escapism.

That is why it is very dangerous to run away - whatever that escape may be: from reality, from a problem, from a decision, from a relationship, from responsibilities, from conflicts, and so on. Running away is very different from solving: it is not solving!

Understand the dangers of escapism and how you can deal with it!

What is escapism?

In short, according to Psychology, escapism is a strategy that helps us escape from the "real world" by avoiding facing a situation, a person, a conflict, etc. Usually, this escapism happens because it is unpleasant to resolve these situations or the relationship with these people, or to be in these environments, or even in front of all this.

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Also known as "Houdini syndrome" (in reference to the legendary Hungarian escapist who was successful in the 19th century), escapism can be very dangerous and can cause problems such as procrastination, fear of making decisions, anxiety, excessive worry, and other symptoms and problems.

Examples of escapism

Escape is present in our behavior, whether in big situations or even in small ones. For example, haven't you ever found yourself scrolling through a social network feed or watching random videos just to get away from or delay an obligation, like washing the dishes or something else?

And going to a "bigger" example, how many people start avoiding meetings with their partners when they no longer want to keep the relationship going, in order to avoid having to look the person in the eye and say it's over?

Series marathons, endless hours of video games, books, excessive physical exercise, avoiding meetings, procrastinating tasks, postponing decisions... in short, escapism is present in many behaviors.

Is running away always the best option?

Of course not. But first, let's talk about how running away is, yes, a good option. Nowadays, we live in a society of demands and sacrifices. Anyway, the phrase "work while they sleep" summarizes well how things are.

Complicated relationships are maintained, as well as exhausting jobs, boring obligations, and a lot of responsibilities that demand more and more of us. So, yes, running away and giving up is an option. You have that right, and you shouldn't feel like a failure or weak for simply running away or giving up for good.

The "thermometer" is how you feel: if running away was like a solution, both in the short and long term, it may have been a good solution. However, if running away brought short-term problems, such as uneasiness and guilt, or long-term problems, such as failure or inability to perform tasks, among others, you have to accept that it was not the best option.

Ideally, running away should be a choice. That is, ideally, you should consciously choose to run away. However, if you are running away only to escape discomfort, well, that is a problem (or can become and/or cause problems).

It is necessary to get out of the bubble

It is rare that you can solve or conquer something by simply standing still or stagnating, isn't it? Imagine, for example, a soccer game: if one of the teams runs away from the ball all the time, it is impossible that they will win the game, isn't it?

That is why you need to understand that being in a comfort zone is pleasant. Yes, of course it is. It is for our comfort that we dedicate, strive and sacrifice so much, but to live eternally in a comfort zone - or invent one - can be quite negative, especially in the long run.

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Here's another example: there are, of course, people who take great pleasure in running, but the vast majority of street runners report that even though the activity is fun and beneficial, it is always an effort to make the decision to run.

In other words, receiving the benefits of running, whether to the body or the mind, requires movement, requires not escaping or running from the decision to get out of bed, change clothes, put on running shoes, and go running.

How to stop running away from problems?

We have prepared a list with 5 tips that will help you avoid escapism and solve problems. Check each one out carefully!

1 - Establish an effort-reward relationship

This one is for the procrastinators on duty, who always reverse the order and have fun (or get away) before they fulfill their obligations.

If you want to play an hour of video games, but need to vacuum the house, if you start playing and leave the vacuuming for later, what incentive will you have to turn off the game (which is fun) and go do something boring? However, if you set the video game as a reward for completing the boring task, it will work well.

2 - Define moments of rest

Imagine working literally from Sunday to Sunday. After two or three weeks without any rest, your fatigue and exhaustion levels will rise, while your levels of focus, concentration, and motivation will decrease. Therefore, it is essential to intersperse moments of responsibility and obligation with rest.

When you rest, relax, and have fun, the feeling that you need to get away from your obligations diminishes, because you have been able to rest from the fatigue you felt while having to deal with them. So value your leisure and rest!

3 - Value the fruits of your decisions and your movement

A diploma, even if it is a piece of paper, exists to fulfill an important ritual: after years of effort and dedication to graduate, you finally complete this challenge, are recognized and valued for it, and move on to a new phase of your life. Even if it is symbolic, the diploma is the fruit of our efforts as students.

When we don't see or appreciate the fruits of our efforts, it becomes more and more difficult to make an effort, because you feel like you are "drying ice". Daily, or from time to time, congratulate yourself for your achievements and for doing your best.

4 - Always think of the consequences (and move in the meantime!)

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If you have to get up at 7:00 a.m., but it's already 7:15 a.m., and you're still imagining what life would be like if you won the lottery, that's going to complicate things for you. Whenever you notice that you're fantasizing or running away from what needs to be done, think about the consequences (and move in the meantime).

For example: while thinking about the serious consequences of being half an hour late at work, get ready, at the end of the reflection, you will realize that being late would be a very bad decision, and you will be ready to leave the house.

Running away from ending a relationship, for example, and "hiding" in a betrayal or extramarital relationship may not have any negative impact on you. However, it may do a lot of harm to your partner. So, think that the consequences may affect the other person as well!

5 - Seek professional help

If you really feel that you have a lot of trouble doing what needs to be done, making decisions, balancing reality and fantasy, fun and obligations, and other types of escapism, seek help.

By starting a therapeutic process with a psychologist, you will understand what the origin and consequences of your escapist and/or avoidance behavior are, which will allow you to deal with it in a more confrontational way and, in some cases, even resolve the situation permanently.

Don't lose control of your life

This article started with a quote from Jung and this, which is the last topic, will close with a quote from the same author: "I am not what happens to me, I am what I choose to become."

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In other words, all the time we are becoming who we are. When you leave a college assignment until the last minute, you take the risk that it won't be done right. When you substitute a necessary physical exercise for the fun of spending the afternoon playing video games, you take the risks to your health and your body.

In short, every micro decision we make affects the macro that is our life. So, understand that, yes, many things really do happen without you being able to interfere; however, you could have dealt more adequately with so many others, but, unfortunately, you ran away and let it go, and this will have consequences. So, take the reins of your life!

You may also like

• Is Procrastination a habit or a disease?
• Tips for dealing with emotions on a daily basis
• Ways not to let procrastination win

Now that you know what escapism is, what examples of this behavior are, and what the consequences are, how about putting our tips into practice to have a less complacent life and to pursue your goals harder?