If you have ever lived with a manipulative person, you know very well that they don't get what they want by asking, but by using tactics that, little by little, destroy our self-esteem and undermine who we are. That is why it is very important to know these strategies and be aware of them!

Many people associate manipulation, blackmail, and abusive relationships only with love relationships, but family relationships, professional relationships, and even friendships can be toxic and include manipulative techniques that can do a lot of harm.

To help you identify these manipulative situations and redouble your attention to this form of emotional and psychological abuse, we have prepared this list with the 5 most common types of manipulation - and tips to combat them!

Silence treatment

You know when you don't do what a person wants, for example, and because of this they stop communicating completely or change their communication a lot? This can happen with the person stopping answering your messages, not answering your calls, and even ignoring you in the house.

And all because you didn't act the way she expected you to act! This is the manipulators' way of punishing us for not acting the way they expect us to act. It is as if they are saying: "You won't do what I want? Okay, then you won't have me either; you'll only have me if it's the way I want it" .

How to fight - Many people have grown up in toxic environments and have been accustomed to violent communications. If this is the case with the person you are relating to, it is worth explaining your discomfort with the situation and asking that it not be repeated.

If it continues to happen, unfortunately understand: this person will only respect you and make themselves available to you if you behave exactly as they expect, which can be very destructive to your identity in the long run. So rethink this relationship.

Gaslighting

This manipulation technique may have its complicated name, but it is nothing more than what a manipulator does to make you think that your discontent is in your head. He will call you crazy, say that you are imagining things, deny even things that you are sure are true.

And this individual will be so incisive and insistent about it that you will probably begin to question your own sanity. And instead of distrusting him, who is manipulating you, you will begin to distrust yourself, which leads to a spiral of low self-esteem and emotional dependence on a lying person.

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How to fight - If yes, it is worth doing it from a distance or in the presence of another person. Don't risk your integrity to confront a manipulator.

If you feel confident and decide to confront him, present evidence and watch out for contradictions in his speech. Don't be fooled. And think about this: is confrontation really worth it? Why argue with someone you know is being dishonest? In most cases, it is best to simply end the relationship.

Transfer of guilt

"Yes, I cheated on you, but it was because you did it here!" Many manipulators will even acknowledge their mistakes, either because it is part of their strategy or because they find themselves cornered. But then they will try to shift the blame for the error onto you. It was your absence and your irresponsibility that made the "poor guy" make the mistake.

And these people can be so convincing that they are able to prove this point and shift the blame for their mistakes onto you, so this is doubly dangerous: not only do they not recognize their mistake, but they come out of the conversation "on top", with a guilt to "throw in your face" from then on.

How to fight - As described in the gaslighting technique, put your safety first and consider whether you will take any risk in confronting this person. If you suspect that this transference of blame is unfair, the best thing to do is to talk to people you trust, tell them your story and listen to their opinion.

As these people show you that you are right, that you have been manipulated, you will be able to break free a little from the clutches of this manipulation by giving yourself a voice and empowering your speech, which can help you leave this toxic and psychologically abusive relationship.

Disposal

In this technique, the manipulator alienates you from other people, keeping you away from everything and everyone so that he can have you exclusively for himself, which facilitates his manipulations and blackmail.

Yes, this is most common in love relationships, but possessive and jealous friends who keep you away from other friendships, or family members who do everything they can to "trap" you indoors, are also great alienators. So be careful not to succumb to this.

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How to fight - It can be family members, friends, co-workers, therapist... It doesn't matter! Just have people around you who care about you, listen carefully to you, and are willing to help you when you need help.

Also, set limits. When the manipulator starts criticizing the people you love and justifying why he wants you to stay away from them, counter-argue and show that you are the master of your life and the only one who can determine who is part of it.

Gratitude Abuse

"I've done so much for you, so now that I need it, you won't help me..." It can be quite cruel to hear this from someone you care about. Usually these manipulators shower you with favors and pleasantries that often weren't even asked for. But they do this not to make you happy, but to plant that seed.

Then, down the road, when they need to do some manipulation or emotional blackmail, they will play at your house how they are kind people who have already done so much for you, so you have to really pay them back.

How to fight - Understand that gratitude does not imply a need for retribution. When you love someone, you make an effort and dedicate yourself to that person not expecting anything in return. You do it out of love, simply because you want the welfare of the person you are relating to.

When you understand this, you also understand that no one can demand favors back, ask for retribution for what was done, at the time, as something spontaneous, to please. Don't be a slave to your gratitude and impose your limits: if you can't do that for that person at that moment, refuse to do it.

You may also like

• Learn all about emotional manipulators
• Know 5 phrases people use to manipulate you
• See how to identify a manipulator
• 5 Signs that you are in a manipulative relationship
• After all, what is an abusive relationship?

ATTENTION! As explained in some threads, your safety should come first. If confronting a manipulative person could put you at risk, either physically or psychologically, it may be best to avoid such a confrontation or to do so in the company of someone else.

Often, no physical assault happens, but the manipulators defend themselves with even more manipulation and psychological abuse, turning that confrontation of yours that should empower you into something that weakens you and silences your voice.

If you don't have a support network or you need to talk to someone to expose your situation and talk about the abuse and manipulation you have been going through, maybe you should schedule a therapy session and expose this to a professional, who is prepared to welcome you and listen to your voice without making judgments.

Finally, being aware of manipulation is essential to avoid getting caught up in the narcissistic and abusive behavior of manipulators. So strengthen your knowledge and support network and don't fall for speeches that silence your voice and what you feel.